Breastfeeding

Replies to: if they're old enough to ASK to nurse, they're too old to nurse

How many times have you heard this: if they're old enough to ASK to nurse, they're too old to nurse. As logically barren as this statement might be, I see it tossed around A LOT. When I saw it brought up in a Peaceful Parenting thread on Facebook I was so proud to read the responses from mothers nursing their toddlers, so I thought I'd collate some of best ones below.

"How do you respond to the whole, 'If they're old enough to ASK to nurse, they're too old to nurse...' criticism?"
Really? Why? What makes you say that? How do you know? Says who?
Do you mean if you can ask for it, you can't have it? 'It' meaning love, nutrition, comfort, nurturing, food, drink?
When my child can ask for broccoli by name, should I stop feeding it to him?
And if he is old enough to tell me he needs a diaper change I shouldn't do it?
Did you stop feeding your child when they were old enough to ask for food?
You're old enough to ask your waitress for food, should she not bring it to you then?
Just because we can communicate that we want something doesn't mean we don't deserve to have it.
Children have been asking to nurse since they were born! Language isn't always just spoken.
Children started asking at birth with the rooting reflex. The only difference now is that they use words.
In my family, children are to be seen, heard and believed. I know my child is done when he stops asking for it.
Meeting my child's needs now means that he won't have childish needs as an adult. If you baby the baby, you don't have to baby the adult.
And lastly, thanks for your concern. I will give it all the consideration it deserves.
I carry around a Kellymom article about extended breastfeeding in my diaper bag
The idea of carrying around some facts about extended breastfeeding (full term breastfeeding) is great. So you can quote things like this from Kellymom:
The biological weaning age of humans is 2.5 to 7 years of age.
Children weaned before two years of age are at increased risk of illness.
Nursing toddlers have fewer illnesses and illnesses of shorter duration.
Breast milk continues to provide substantial amounts of key nutrients well beyond the first year of life, especially protein, fat, and most vitamins.
Antibodies are abundant in human milk throughout lactation, and increase during the 2nd year.
Breastfeeding perks up children and energizes them; it soothes the frustrations, bumps and bruises, and daily stresses of early childhood. Nursing past infancy helps little ones make a gradual transition to childhood.
The WHO recommends breastfeeding for 2 years and beyond.
The American Academy of Pediatrics says:
It is recommended to breastfeed beyond 1 year and for as long as mutually desired by mother and child. There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding. Increased duration of breastfeeding has significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother. There is no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.
The longer a mother breastfeeds, the lower her risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, uterine cancer and endometrial cancer, osteoporosis, rheumatoid arthritis, and diabetes.
There is no evidence that nursing past infancy interferes with a child's appetite for other foods.
If you don't want to carry a sheet of facts, you can print out smaller info cards to keep in your handbag to dish out when needed (click to view a higher resolution version):




Here's a few articles with tips on how to deal with people's disapproval, questions or comments about breastfeeding past infancy:
How do I respond to and avoid criticism about breastfeeding?
Ask Dr. Sears: Extended Breastfeeding -- Handling the Criticism
Handling criticism about breastfeeding

A clip 'Ignorance Meets Knowledge (extended breastfeeding)' you can send to naysayers:


A clip of a typical mother and child (past infancy) breastfeeding:



Breastfeeding past infancy is not weird! It's normal, it's beautiful.

I'll leave you with one last light hearted comment from the Peaceful Parenting thread:
I'd squirt milk in their faces and chase them out yelling,"leave, leave this place now you mean terrible person". When I see these people again they honor me with gifts and say, "you are a goddess, liquid gold floweth from your body into your babe childs body, we have witnessed a miracle" I'd forgive them and bless them by annointing them with said liquid gold, upon their heads before leaving the room.
Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding: Everyone's doing it!

I love seeing photos of other animals breastfeeding, giving birth, or looking after their babies. Makes me realise how rooted in nature we are. Here's a collection of some of my fav breastfeeding pics:





















Dog feeding baby red pandas

Dog feeding baby white tigers






Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding in Public Info Cards

I've always wanted a stash of breastfeeding info cards I can whip out and give to nay sayers or those in need of a little education when I'm out and about breastfeeding. I couldn't find any cards online that were specifically for NZ, so I've made ones that are possibly usable across many countries.

Please feel free to print and use at your own discretion. Just right click and save. You can make single or double sided cards. They are approximately 9cm x 5.2cm with 300 resolution - the standard size and resolution of a business card before it is printed and cut. You can simply save the images and send them to your chosen print company. Enjoy and pass along!




Bottlefeeding

Answering the ill-informed breastfeeding statements

"There's nothing wrong with formula"
Formula fed infants are 2 times more likely to die of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
Formula fed infants are 2 times more likely to suffer from Cancer.
Formula fed infants are 4 times more likely to suffer from Necrotizing Enterocolitis (severe intestinal inflammatory disorder).
Formula fed infants are 4 times more likely to suffer from Diarrhea.
Formula fed infants 5 times more likely to suffer gastrointestinal illness.
Formula fed infants are 4 times more likely to suffer from Lower Respiratory Illness.
Formula fed infants are 3 times more likely to suffer from Meningitis.
Formula fed infants are 5 times more likely to be hospitalized in their first year.

For a complete list of formula feeding risks click here. Note that stats like these are not stating that ALL formula fed infants will face these illnesses, or that ALL breastfed infants will be immune, simply that a higher percentage of formula fed infants suffer from these illnesses.

"My child is formula fed and happy, bright and healthy" or "I know breastfed children who are sick all the time"
 I think what many formula feeding mums are trying to say with this comment is that they're not cruel, negligent parents watching their chronically ill child wither away due to formula feeding while refusing to do nothing.

Again, stats on formula / breastfeeding aren't saying every formula fed child will suffer the illnesses mentioned above. Or that breastfed infants are immune. Formula will sustain a child and is imperative to infants in particular situations, but why debate that formula does indeed increase the risk of infant illness when the proof is so immense?

Breastfed infants receive their mothers immunity via her breastmilk, along with many other nutrients unique to breastmilk. Of course a child will be healthier if breastfed (except in the rare case).

All types of children are accounted for in statistics, and the statistics say formula fed infants are more likely get sick. Every child is unique - their environment, their genetic makeup, their experiences - and while these may be uncontrollable factors that raise or lower a childs risk of illness, a proven method to reduce risk of illness is to simply breastfeed – when possible.

"Shouldn't he be weaned by now?"
The natural weaning age for humans is physiologically estimated to be between 2.5 and 7 years. The World Health Organization officially recommends breastfeeding for at least 2 years. The antibodies and nutrients (particularly energy, protein and fat) abundant in human milk increase in concentration during the second year and during the weaning process. In the second year, 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
o 29% of energy requirements
o 43% of protein requirements
o 36% of calcium requirements
o 75% of vitamin A requirements
o 76% of folate requirements
o 94% of vitamin B12 requirements
o 60% of vitamin C requirements

"It's disrespectful to nurse in public"
No, it's disrespectful to stare at and harass a breastfeeding mother. Breasts are for breastfeeding, not titillating mens sexual appetites . If you can't keep your sexual thoughts in check long enough for a mother to feed her child, take yourself to the nearest bathroom and sort your sexual frustrations out. Any mother breastfeeding in public, baring her breasts, is to be applauded and revered for standing up for her right to use, and declare her breasts as nourishment for her child. It takes strong , instinctive women like these to push back against the oppressive sexualization of breasts. And of course, the law is on our side, so we can always state our rights and offer to get a lawyer involved.

These are just a couple of statements, but there's numerous other ill-informed statements and questions regarding breastfeeding that I want to answer in the future. But this is all for now.

If you have your own take on answering these statements don't hesitate to comment.


Sources:
Formula Feeding Doubles Infant Deaths in America
by Linda Folden Palmer, DC
A Natural Age of Weaning
by Katherine A. Dettwyler, PhD
Breastfeeding Past Infancy: Fact Sheet
by Kelly Bonyata, BS, IBCLC
Bottlefeeding

Choosing not to breastfeed

"Why breastfeed when there's perfectly good formula as a substitute?" This was my opinion before I began breastfeeding research. To me breastfeeding on the whole seemed weird, hippyish, time consuming, and boring. It wasn't something I felt was fluent with an image of a professional, modern woman I wanted to be. Why would I choose to do something that made my boobs sag, took a lot of effort, hurt, and was socially embarrassing, when it didn't provide any great benefit?

Five years on I have three children, I'm breastfeeding my 20 month old, and I'm an advocate for 'full-term breastfeeding' (by definition this is when a child self-weans, though in my opinion full-term would be at the age of 6 when a child's immune system has fully developed). So what changed? Well I got educated. In an effort to make sense of motherhood I scoured the net, I read every breastfeeding related study, article and discussion available. I discovered breastmilk is beneficial in ways formula can never mimic. It strengthens a child's immune system, reduces the likelihood of illness including ear infections, respiratory illness, diarrheal disease, allergies, dental cavities, obesity, juvenile, diabetes, high blood, heart disease, cancer, and even reduces the risk of psychological, behavioral and learning problems as they grow older. For more info on the risks of formula see this post.

My dilemma then became, "Ethically how can I feed my child an inferior food, risking his health? Do I have the reasons to justify feeding my child anything but breastmilk? I have breasts, they can produce the milk, I'm healthy, I have support, so what reason can I come up with to deprive my child my breastmilk?" I couldn't justify not breastfeeding, so I breastfed my children.

Yet mother's know the facts and still choose not to breastfeed (opposed to women who have no choice due to a serious reason preventing them from breastfeeding). But who are we to judge a mother for her decisions and reasons regarding breastfeeding her child; is it really our business? As a society we have always made the welfare of all children within our society our business, and have built laws regarding child safety and welfare accordingly. But we're talking about breastfeeding here, not a life or death decision that warrants some kind of law to protect children, right?
  • Researchers have observed a decrease in the probability of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) in breast-fed infants. If 80-90% of women in the U.S. breastfed their newborns for at least six months, between $10.5 and $13 billion would be saved in health care and other costs each year, and more than 700 lives, mostly of newborns, would be spared.
  • Breast-fed children are less likely to contract a number of diseases later in life, including juvenile diabetes, multiple sclerosis, heart disease, and cancer before the age of 15. Formula-fed children are eight times more likely to develop cancer than children who are nursed for more than six months. (It is important to note that children who are breast-fed for less than six months do not appear to have any decreased cancer risk compared to bottle-fed children).
  • Mothers who breastfeed are less likely to develop osteoporosis later in life, and have a lower risk of breast, uterine and ovarian cancer.
That said, it's one thing to declare it is necessary that a child be fed breastmilk. It's another to demand all mothers use their breasts to breastfeed their child. You are talking about a woman's own body, to force anyone to do anything with their body gets ethically very hairy. You can educate a mother all you want on the benefits of nursing, but at the end of the day it's her body that she will use in whatever way she wishes. After all "breastfeeding is a woman's choice", there is no law that forces women to breastfeed. Actually there is a law in Indonesia that states a mother must breastfeed her child for a minimum of 1 year unless she has a substantial medical reason.

Is this crossing the line into overbearing breastfeeding dictatorship, or are they trying to create a baseline standard for infant health and welfare based on the immense nutritional benefits of breastmilk consumption that will last a lifetime?

While I don't believe women should ever be forced to breastfeed, I strongly believe feeding babies breastmilk should be enforced - no child should receive subpar nourishment during such an important time of growth and vulnerability. Instead of formula as a substitute how about subsidized milkbanks and wetnurses? Then if women cannot or do not want to breastfeed for whatever reason, at least their child will still receive the fantastic health benefits of breastmilk - which is what it's all about.

At the very least all women should have the opportunity to be taught professionally how to breastfeed - the benefits, potential problems, remedies etc. It needs to be taught in schools, men need to be taught how to support their breastfeeding partners. There needs to FREE lactation consultants for all breastfeeding women.

A lot of us have been raised in a culture that has pitted every societal pressure possible against us not to breastfeed. Until government policies change to further educate, support and encourage breastfeeding, we need to be educators, supporters and examples.


Sources:

Benefits of Breastfeeding
Natural Resources Defense Council
Breastfeeding Studies Point to Health, Economic Benefits
by Kevin Banet
Breastfeeding

Cover that breast up!

"I breastfeed in public, but I am respectful of others, I use a blanket or cover", I've often heard mothers say this, and this statement has always irritated me. It implies nursing mothers who don't use a blanket or cover in public are disrespectful of others, and it has a tendency to make mothers feel ashamed of breastfeeding in general.

Breastfeeding, no matter what species, is natural, functional and healthy; breasts are there to provide vital nutrition to the infant. It's basic biology, there is no mystery about it, so why should the sight of a nursing breast be so controversial?

It's apparent to me that breasts are extremely sexualized in our culture. I'd go as far to say they are fetishized, not to mention utterly exploited for marketing purposes. The unfortunate result for women has been the disempowerment of the use of their own breasts, to the point they feel ashamed of having to use their breasts to feed their child in public, because they don't want to appear sexually suggestive. At least this is how I feel as a mother having been raised in this culture.

It seems logical that the driving force behind the sexualization of breasts may be the fact that breasts are almost always hidden. The more hidden or mysterious something is, the more desirable it becomes, and the more scandalous it's considered when exposed. For example there was a time when the sight of a woman's ankles was exciting for men.  Exacerbating the problem is that breasts are usually only ever seen during sexual encounters, further cementing their role in our society as only sexual.

On the other end of the scale, in some tribal cultures the sight of a breastfeeding mother with breasts fully exposed is common place and hence not arousing to men. In these tribes breasts are deemed primarily as feeding tools, not for sexual arousal. There's no sensationalism, just rational common sense. In an article I read about these women, they were laughing at the thought of Western men obsessed with breasts, exclaiming, "you mean to say they act like babies!?"

Pygmy Mother Nursing
So where does Western culture move forward from here? Why do we find it so hard to accept breasts can be sexual and a feeding tool? I can vouch that  nipple stimulation is great during sex... but so is using my hands to touch or my lips to kiss. Breasts are just another part of the body, like hands or lips, with multiple functions. Sexual arousal can be one such function, but breastfeeding is biologically and primarily the most important function.

The primary role of breasts in our culture needs to shift from 'sexual object for the purpose of arousal' to 'tool for feeding a child necessary nutrition'. The only way for this transition to take place is for breastfeeding to become normalized, more normalized than the sight of breasts used in a sexual context. We need people to see a woman breastfeeding her child as an every day occurrence. The more society sees breastfeeding, the less uncomfortable they become with it, the more accepting of breastfeeding they become, the more comfortable women feel about breastfeeding, the more women breastfeed, the longer women breastfeed, and the healthier our children become. What a glorious thought for the future!

So to the person saying I should use a blanket to cover when I breastfeed in order to be 'respectful', I say NO, breastfeeding is not something scandalous, to be hidden or embarrassed about. By covering I would be perpetuating the fetishization of breasts in our culture which disempowers women and deters them from breastfeeding. I refuse to be a part of that negative cycle.

If you're a breastfeeding mother, I implore you, don't hide away when you nurse! Be a part of the solution and help normalize breastfeeding by nursing in public. By doing so you not only help make breastfeeding normal, you give other mothers the courage to also breastfeed in public. And if you do see a breastfeeding mother, please, tell her she's doing an amazing job!